Young adults often underestimate how much empathy their peers have, according to a new study by Stanford University researchers. The findings suggest that many students believe others are less willing to connect and care than is actually the case.
The research, published on October 16 in Nature Human Behavior, examined perceptions of empathy among more than 5,000 Stanford undergraduates. The team found that students who saw their peers as more empathic reported greater psychological well-being and had more friends. However, most students believed their classmates were less caring than those same classmates thought of themselves—a phenomenon the researchers called an “empathy perception gap.”
“Stanford students are overwhelmingly friendly,” said Rui Pei, postdoctoral scholar in the Stanford Social Neuroscience Laboratory and lead author of the paper. “At the same time, we find students are underestimating how willing their peers are to make new friends and help each other out.”
The studies were conducted through the Stanford Community Project, which was founded in 2018 by psychology Professor Jamil Zaki with communication Assistant Professor Gabriella Harari and economics Professor Matthew Jackson. Supported by Stanford’s vice provosts for undergraduate education and student affairs, this initiative aims to assess well-being and social connection among undergraduates.
Researchers noted that when students perceive others as unfriendly or uncaring, they may withdraw socially. This can create a cycle that increases feelings of loneliness over time.
To address this issue, Pei and her colleagues tested interventions designed to correct misperceptions about peer empathy. One approach involved displaying posters in residence halls featuring real statistics from recent data collections. Students exposed to these messages perceived their peers as more empathic compared to those who did not see them. They also reported being more likely to take social risks—such as starting conversations with unfamiliar classmates or sharing personal struggles.
Another intervention used a phone app to deliver prompts encouraging students to reach out or compliment others. Those who received these suggestions were nearly 90% more likely after three weeks to engage in outreach beyond their comfort zones.
“The next time a student hesitates over whether to reach out to a new person or an old friend, I hope they think about this study and it nudges them towards taking that social risk,” Pei said. “There’s a campus full of students wanting to make friends.”
Pei expressed hope that these simple strategies could be expanded into institutional programs for broader impact: “This points to a really simple and scalable way that could be incorporated into institutional programs,” she said.
Jamil Zaki added: Young adults crave closeness but often misjudge how much their peers want it too; his research found strategies that can encourage people to take chances on forming connections.
Harari, Jackson, Pei, and Zaki are all part of Stanford’s School of Humanities and Sciences.
